#TheRead 'Cousin Fucker' episode (partial transcript)

 

Kid Fury: So, our next question comes from...I don't think that person wants their name said.

Crissle: Okay. *laughs*

Kid Fury: I'm not sure, so I'm not gonna say it.

Crissle: Anonymous?

Kid Fury:  It says, "Dear Kid Fury and Crissle: so last year around this time I went to Kansas to meet some of my family on my mother's side for the first time and ended up having a girl and guy cousin my age. We all get along really well and hung out all weekend. As I spent more time with my male cousin, however, I started getting the vibes that I only get from guys who try to date me."

Crissle: OH NOOO.

Kid Fury: "But I brushed the feeling off and chalked it up to my paranoia." *chuckles*

Crissle: NOPE. Mm-mm.

Kid Fury: "Near the end of the weekend, my cousins and I were drinking together..."

Crissle: I'm actually gonna ask you to stop right there because I see where this is going--

Kid Fury: "After my female cousin went to bed..."

Crissle: Nooooo! nooooooooo!

Kid Fury: "My male--"

Crissle: Nooooo!

Kid Fury: Don't do this. People are going through things. "My male cousin immediately made a move on me."

Crissle: NOOO

Kid Fury: "We ended up hooking up."

Crissle: NOOOOOOOOOOO

Kid Fury: You're like--

Crissle: NOOOOOoooooOOOoooOoooOOOOOOOoooOOOOOO

Kid Fury: *laughing* "Afterwards, I felt super guilty because--"

Crissle: *dry heaving*

Kid Fury: Okay, you might need some water.

Crissle: *hacking*

Kid Fury: Wait. You're gonna knock things over.

Crissle: *retching*

Kid Fury: Get-- there's some water right there in front of you.

Crissle: *dying inside*

Kid Fury: Sweetie...you almost killed my co-host, so I really don't appreciate this.

Crissle: *gasps in horror*

Kid Fury: "Afterwards, I felt super guilty because 1) we're fucking related. 2)--"

Crissle: Oh my gOD OH MY G--

Kid Fury: "I only hooked up..."

Crissle: Oh, my God.

Kid Fury: "I only hooked up with him because I was feeling lonely and was sooo~ thirsty for me." Which, I'll get back to that comment.

Crissle: OH MY GOD *coughs*

Kid Fury: "It became clear that he was a typical light-skinned nigga and felt actual emotions for me--"

Crissle: Are you kidding?

Kid Fury: "--as I was trying to have some quick fun."

Crissle: But this is your cousin--! *rambling*

Read the rest on BestOfTheRead 

Listen to the episode here The Mailbag Episode (2)